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Expiation
by Johnie
Disclaimer: Oh, you know the drill. I swear I own none of these characters and am not making a dime on this. That's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth- out there and otherwise.
Spoilers: Three, Never Again, Duane Barry
Category: MSR Well, you might just want to call it pure, unadulterated smut.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mulder demands a confession from Scully.
Warning: Author runs amuck with plotless trash. Wheeee!
Comments: If inclined to JohnieRed@aol.com
expiation - n. 1 the means by which atonement or reparation is made.

"Mulder?" Scully pushed the slightly ajar office door open and walked into the darkened room. It was empty. She sighed in relief at the evidence of his absence. It was nine o'clock at night she hadn't expected him to be there but with Mulder you never knew. Walking across the room she hung up her coat and wandered over to the desk and sat down without bothering to turn the light on. The last week had been difficult to say the least. She knew she had been abrasive and well, let's face it Dana, she thought to herself, just plain bitchy all week; her first week back at work since her treatments for ergot poisoning. The snide comments Mulder had continued to make for the last several days about her `little adventure' as he derisively referred to it , and the tattoo that was a memento of it, had really pushed her to the edge.

Yesterday she had consulted on a case involving a female serial killer who murdered the chronically ill patients she was caring for before running off with all their valuables. She had been in a rotten mood after briefing the agents on the case, explaining how the suspect had deliberately overdosed several of the diabetic patients with insulin, given a patient with end stage kidney disease liquids laced with protein powder, and given a multiple sclerosis patient with blood clotting problems an entire week's worth of blood thinners at once, causing the poor woman to die from internal bleeding.

Afterwards she and her rotten mood had gone down to the office to see if Mulder needed anything before she left for the day. Just two minutes in the same room and they been at each other. He had greeted her with, "Gee, Scully, no nose ring yet? Or did you decide to be discrete and get something pierced that isn't visible when you're wearing clothes?" She had been livid; he had been baiting her at every opportunity since her return.

She had suppressed the urge to slap him and instead had left the office, her rage powering every step down the hallway. Of course she knew that her reply hadn't helped. "Trying to get a vicarious thrill Mulder? You really should stop watching those videos of yours and get out more."

Now she had the office to herself. She sat at the desk, *his* desk in the dark, enjoying the solitude for several minutes before flipping the green shaded lamp on. It was then that she noticed she was leaning on a case file. That son of bitch, she thought, he went out to investigate a case without me. Then she noticed that the date on the file was two years old. It's from the time I was missing she thought. She was confused; she knew the X-files had still been closed while she was gone. Skinner had re-opened them about two weeks before she was returned but Mulder had never mentioned that he took a case while she was gone.

She ran her hand along the sharp edge of the folder, slowly, very slowly, careful not to put enough pressure to cut herself. Just enough pressure to pull the skin slightly, making it catch on the tiny nubs of cardboard left after the perforated edges were separated. Oh yeah, that's daring of you Dana, she thought sarcastically. The fact that you consider that a thrill is pathetic, she told herself. But there was something unsatisfied, something hungry and impatient inside her -something the tattoo had only awakened- was demanding a thrill, an enticement of any kind. She pushed the feeling down. She opened the file and began reading.

She was finishing the last paragraph of the field report when she heard a rustle behind her and a silky, low voice telling her not to turn around. She froze at the tone; it was Mulder. "Mulder, what-" She tried to turn but the chair wouldn't swivel, Mulder was holding it in place. "Shhh. It's just me Scully. You're not afraid of me are you?"

She didn't reply. Although she knew it was only Mulder, there was something in the way he said it that made her feel paralyzed.

"What where you doing, Scully? Were you going through my papers?"

"I was, I was just reading this file. I was curious," she was shocked at the stammering apologetic tone her explanation came out in. It was her office too. Desk or no desk, and she had every right to be here reading through any of the files. She felt her irritation begin to rise.

"That's okay, Scully, I left that file out for you to read." He let her digest that for a moment and then asked, "Do you know why?"

"No," she whispered. She couldn't imagine why he would hide the file for two years and then suddenly decide to leave it out for her to find.

His fingers swept her hair to the side, he leaned closer. She tensed, she could feel his breath on her neck, she imagined that she could hear his heart beating.

"Because I slept with her," he said softly. "What?!" she demanded and attempted to turn around but he clasped a hand on her neck preventing her from moving.

"I said I slept with Kristen Kyler. Although in a cruder more conventional way you might just say that I fucked her. On the floor of her bedroom." Slept with a woman whose vampiric partner killed all her lovers? "Yes," he said answering her silent question, "he did kill all her lovers. I welcomed the possibility." He stroked her hair, winding several strands around his index finger and kissing them. "You see, you were gone. I couldn't save you so I thought I could atone by saving her. Or if I couldn't, he would kill me and then I would find out if you were really gone or not. That's how badly I needed to know Dana. I was willing to die to find out." His hands gathered her hair up and she felt his warm lips brush her neck. It was a muted touch, a ghost kiss. As she shivered from the contact, he chuckled.

She heard his disembodied voice continue, in the same soft and dark murmur, "That was the only time I've been unfaithful to you. You do know that I've been faithful to you don't you Scully? There are no other women in my life. There hasn't been since the day you walked into this office. I haven't even thought about another woman since that night you told me I was the only one you trusted, the only one you would put yourself at risk for."

He chuckled. It was a self-berating noise. "I lived like monk: cloistered. I pledged myself to you, took my silent vows. I shouldn't have lapsed. But now I am a penitent man, Scully. "

His hands moved down her neck to her shoulders. She felt him pushing her suit jacket off, sliding it off her arms. She didn't protest, she couldn't move. Think Dana, she told herself, think, don't you see what's happening? But there was nothing in her head, the neurons were not firing, his voice was hypnotizing her. The rhythmic throb of the heat building inside her was hypnotizing her. The feel of his fingers stroking her neck was hypnotizing her.

"I thought it was time to confess my little infidelity."

She said nothing.

"And I think it's time for you to confess Dana. Did you sleep with Ed Jerse?"

"I..." she couldn't force the words out. A visceral, primitive feeling began unrolling from somewhere deep inside her. She felt the tip of his tongue begin to trace the outer edge of her ear. Slowly his tongue moved down and then dipped in, running along the cartilage, caressing each seashell shaped pattern inside. Around and around in soft swirls, his warm breath trickled into her ear, wrapping around her brain, drugging her.

"Did you? Scully you can tell me. I confessed my indiscretion." he asked, the question reverberating in her head.

"Yes," the tiny sound escaped her lips.

"Yes what?" the question was asked in a school teacherish tone. A teacher coaxing a answer from a reluctant student.

"Yes, I slept with Ed Jerse," she rasped out. Her throat was dry, she could barely speak with her vocal cords that had turned to rusty old guitar strings.

He voice went on in it's seductive smoothness while he began bunching up the fabric of her blouse, slowly pulling it out of the waistband of her pants. "Was it good? No, wait. I'll answer for you. It was. You sensed his desperation. You sensed that he was close to the edge, that he was dangerous and that excited you."

She still said nothing. Her breath was coming out in short pants. She could feel a pink flush rise across her breasts and creep up her neck. She knew she should stop this but somehow she wasn't moving, was speaking. Glancing down she could see his hands pulling the buttons of her blouse open in rough, languid movements. Each little pop as a button was released set off a vibration across the fabric. She could feel the vibration being echoed inside, low in her stomach.

He spread her shirt open with a single finger and then slowly ran his hand in a straight line up the plain of her stomach, between her breasts and up onto her face. His thumb stroked her lower lip and then dropped to repeat the gesture along the lacy edge of her bra. "You did it to punish me. It was an act of rebellion. You knew I was taking you for granted. I wasn't paying enough attention to you." He paused. "You should have told me what you needed Scully. Or wasn't I dangerous enough for you?" he asked as he slipped a finger down into the cup of the bra. A desperate moan sobbed out of her mouth as he began tracing her nipple with his index finger. "If you ask me to I'll replace that with my tongue," he whispered.

His words invoked the image of him doing just that, and like a demon the image began to torment her. With her eyes closed she pictured Mulder, his lips parted with his tongue peeking through, eyes staring into hers as his mouth closed over-

"You're not paying attention Dana," he admonished while unclasping her bra and brushing it away like an annoying insect. "Are you distracted? Wait, let me answer for you again. You're naked to the waist in our office. You're hot and bothered. Your partner's running his hands over your bare flesh. And you're enjoying it as much as he is..."

He lean forward reaching around her and began unbuckling her belt. His stubbled chin brushed her bare shoulder, making her shiver. "Do you like that Scully? Do you like... friction?" Her insides were turning to liquid. She heard the creak of leather and realized he hadn't even taken his jacket off. The thought excited her further, making her squirm in the chair as he undid her pants. "Be patient and lift your hips Scully." She did as he instructed and he hooked his thumbs around the edges of her panties and slid them and her pants over her hips and around her knees. The feel of his hands on her thighs made her reflexively try to open her legs but her tangled clothes restricted her movements. Mulder picked her hands up and pulled them over her head, bringing one of the fingers to his mouth and sucking the tip in. "You'll have to finish getting undressed yourself. I've always thought that one appreciates something more when one has to work for it, don't you agree?" He continued to hold her hands in the air, forcing her to wiggle, kicking her feet to get her pants, shoes, and underwear completely off.

"Oh, yes. You're definitely distracted now. You're naked in our office. Your partner, *your partner*, Scully, is delighting in your exhibitionism. And you're wondering did he remember to lock the office
door?"
He let the question hang in the air for a moment. During the pause in his speech she could hear the panting of her breath roaring in her head. Oh, god, what am I doing, she thought. This is Mulder. *This* is Mulder. How could I not have known, known this, this, this is Mulder?

"It's not. It's open. Someone could walk in any time. Someone could walk in at any time and see us like this. See you naked with my hands all over you. Is that dangerous enough for you?"

She began shivering uncontrollably. A deep rosy pink flush was covering her skin. She could feel herself growing impossibly wet, impossibly hot, impossibly, impossibly aroused. "I'm going to die," she whispered.

"Oh, but it will only be a little death Scully," he laughed, delighted at his little joke.

A cracking noise snapped through the tension laden air making her jump.

"It's just a sunflower seed. Here," he offered her the tiny bit of meat from the shell on the end of his finger. She delicately licked it off. The small grunt he gave as she applied sucking pressure to his fingertip delighted her.

"What does it taste like Scully?" he inquired, his voice a little heavier.

"Rich. Rich and salty," she answered.

His cheek brushed hers as he placed a light kiss at her temple. "That's what I'll taste like Scully. That's what I'll taste like when you take me in your mouth."

She came undone. She wrenched the chair around and grabbed the collar of his jacket using it to drag his lips to hers. His mouth came down hard on hers. It was a hot, wet, open-mouthed, sucking kiss that made her feel like she was being drawn into his mouth. Her body arched up against him of it's own volition.

He pulled back and lifted her onto the desk. "How can I absolve my sins?" he asked.

She ignored his question and pulled the black turtle neck he was wearing out of the waistband of his jeans. She unzipped his jeans, pulling them apart and sliding her hand into his boxer shorts. She heard the sharp intake of his breath as she closed her hand around his erection and began stroking him.

His voice was thick as he spoke, "I was furious when I figured out you made love with Ed. And even angrier when I realized I didn't really have a right to be."

"Mulder..." she breathed as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"What is it that you want Scully?" he asked sharply, laboring to breath as she continued to stroke him.

"You." She pulled her hand from his jeans and tried peeling them over his hips.

She writhed, trying to get closer to him.

He roughly pushed her back onto the desk. "Not yet," he announced as he parted her legs and ran a single finger up the inside of her thigh, pausing to feel her legs shake.

"I want to hear you say you're sorry, Scully," he informed her as he slide first one then two fingers inside her. She could feel him stretching her, curling his fingers and putting pressure upwards as he slowly pulled out.

"But I'm not sorry," she said as she felt his fingers push back in.

"No?" Mulder inquired his tone mild as his hand went on stroking, stroking, stroking. Scully could feel herself tensing like an overwound music box. Her springs were going to snap, her gears would unmesh; she was never going to play the same tune again.

"No. We wouldn't be here now if-"

Her reply died in her mouth as Mulder began sucking on the skin at the top of her thigh in time to the stroking of his fingers. She reflexively drew up her other leg, banging her heel against the desk drawer and knocking the file on Kristen Kyler onto the floor.

"Where else would you like my mouth Scully?"

She moaned, it was a deep, guttural sound. "Please, Mulder. Oh, God, please."

Mulder pulled back and clucked his tongue. "Oh, do I have you past the point where you can form a coherent sentence? What a shame," he said as he withdrew his fingers and moved to trace his thumbs languidly over her nipples, "I wanted to taste you. I wanted to watch the expression change on your face while I slid myself into your mouth... but now..."

He smiled as his words caused her to fidget impatiently, her back arched sending her hair waterfalling over the edge of the desk, her hips lifting in a imitation of the act that was about to come.

"Please, please, Mulder. I want..."

"Yes? What do you want?" his tone was solicitous.

"You. You inside me." She barely managed to say the words. Desire was resonating through her body making her feel like a glass of water about to brim over. She didn't think that there was a single inch of her body that wasn't flushed deep red advertising her state of complete agitation. She heard Mulder's jeans hit the floor and then he said, "I have to do this first." She felt his tongue circle around and around the knob of her ankle bone and she spilled over, coming in a series of violent shakes as she let out a short, sharp scream.

Before she could recover she felt Mulder push himself inside her, slamming her into the desk. She tried to pull him closer, clutching at the leather jacket he still hadn't taken off but he grabbed her wrists and held her arms down against the top of the desk.

Mulder, Mulder, this is Mulder. This is Mulder inside you, she chanted in her head.

Everything inside her began to build back up as she felt the heat of him thrusting in time to the frantic beating of her heart.

"Mulder," she fought against his grip trying to get closer to him to no avail. Then in desperation she drew her legs up, sliding them under his arms and pulling them back. Her actions caused Mulder slip out of her.

"Scully," he threatened through clenched teeth. She drew her legs up further and arched up to wind them around his neck. He drove back into her. The new position caused her to feel pressure in completely different places. She bit her lip sobbing at the unimaginably intense feeling that was again about to spill over in her.

"Was it like this with Ed?" Mulder asked suddenly.

"Wait, I'll answer for you one last time," he said immediately, clearly struggling to get the words out. "It wasn't. It wasn't this good. Nothing," he said thrusting in between words, "Nothing has ever been this good."

She silently agreed as she felt him explode inside her, flooding her with his warmth.

The sound of his long groaning sigh as he came pushed her over the edge and she went up again in a blaze of white hot oblivion.

When she came to she was sitting the chair again, her clothes littering the floor around her. She was alone. She reached down and picked up her suit jacket, shrugging it on to ward off the chill in the air.

On the desk was a piece of paper. She picked it up. It was a cancelled invoice for a desk. On the back Mulder had written: I think we can consider it *our* desk now.

She threw back her head and laughed, the sound bouncing off the office walls. She reached around and pulled another invoice from the pile. She quickly filled out another request form, dressed, and walked out of the office down the hall to the inter-office mailbox.

As she dropped the paperwork in she chuckled to herself. Mulder had shared his desk with her.

Now she would have to share her desk with Mulder.

THE END


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